WURDS
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This spoof is primarily directed at my own pronunciation or overuse of all of these words. If you are reading this, I hope you have a gentle and perhaps a bit of an ‘off-the-wall’ sense of humour, as well. If not, then please take a ‘grain of salt’ with this bit of silliness.
I was once was fired before I was even hired for the use of the word ‘nestled.’
I had applied at a real estate company for a job many, many long years ago. One of the interview requirements was in the form of a test. I had to write an ad for an upcoming property listing. The word ‘nestled’ in my description was my downfall. I did not get the job. The real estate agent was looking for a different, fresh and creative approach that would set his listings apart from all of the other agents in the area.
While the use of the word ‘nestled’ is appropriate, it is not creative, as proven by its use in so many real estate listings. The agent was looking for a creative writer. And he found one. Alas, it wasn’t me.
Here’s my little spoof on my favorite overworked ‘wurds’.
REAL ESTATE WURDS
NESTLE
Things that buildings and houses do.
Many towns and cities also do it.
Especially those that are close to a riverbank,
although any cozy location will do, it seems.
According to a ‘ton’ of real-estate listings, that is.
STUNNING
To daze or render senseless, as by a blow or loud noise.
To stupefy, as with the emotional impact of
an experience; astound.
Real Estate Agents are dangerous!
At least some of their properties are.
It’s good thing that you are forewarned when you see
the word ‘Stunning’ in their listings.
It gives you time to put on your hard hat before going
to see whatever it is that is going to stun you!
PASTORAL WURDS
It seems that preachers also have some favorite ‘wurds.’
LEAN IN
Some like to ‘lean in’ to the message when preaching a sermon.
They often in invite their congregations to join them.
We do so quite happily!
And give thanks that we have solid rock on which to lean!
THE SOLID ROCK that anchors our soul!
UNPACK
Other Pastors prefer to unpack the text or message.
As in: “We’re going to unpack this scripture this morning.”
I am thankful that they do exactly that!
DIG IN
Digging in also a good way preachers help us to find
hidden treasures in the Bible.
We never know just what we might discover!
And thankfully so!
DIVE IN
Athletic Pastors are more inclined to ‘Dive In.’
Others prefer to simply ‘JUMP IN.’
They invite us to join them.
We do so quite eagerly.
Something to Ponder…
Perhaps church meetings should be held in swimming pools?
Or sand boxes!
The kids would love it.
I would too!
Don’t tell anyone I said that!
😉
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TEEN WURDS
TON
A ton is a weight. Not a measurement.
I had a ton of fun yesterday.
I’d rather have had a lot of fun yesterday.
A lot is easier to manage that a ton!
Unless you own a crane.
I’M LIKE…
Way too many definitions to list.
Choose your preferred definition here: LIKE
Often used for ‘kewl’ teen talk.
As in: I’m like, impressed with olive these wurds!
Ya!
What you say before you start to speak or when answering a question.
Or when you can’t pronounce the word Yes.
Question: What do you think about this or that?
Answer: Ya! I think thinking about thinking is Kewl!
Do people still say ‘cool’ anymore?
Ya! You know, like I’m not really sure, eh!
GIMMIE
What I say when I want something NOW!!!
Polite people say: Give Me… and usually add
a valid request afterwards! Such As: Give Me Also!
GUNNA
I’m gunna go to church on Sunday.
But only if I WANNA.
Weather permitting!
ARR
As in: “Our”
We took arr books back to the library today.
And paid the fine!
YRR
As in: “Your”
Opposite of Arr.
Next time you take Yrr books to the library, will
you take Arrz as well? (And also pay the fine?)
WRR
As in: “We’re”
Wrr going shopping tomorrow.
D’ya wanna come along?
AND JUST FOR FUN…
WEEZE
The opposite of ‘YOUSE’
I think I’d better find somethin’ better to do!
Like raid the fridge!
