WURDS

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Please be patient with me. I had fun writing this spoof about some of the ‘wurds’ I find myself using without even realizing I am so doing! And I do so quite happily. I love diversity. Language diversity is both interesting and creative.

I hope you take this in the spirit in which it is intended, that being, to simply give you a bit of a chuckle at how ‘versatile’ the English language appears to be.

I especially hope that you have a bit of an off-the-wall sense of humor!

If not, then please don’t read any further. Or farther. (How can one little letter change the meaning of a word?)

Many years ago when I was just starting out to conquer the world, at my first job interview I was fired before the interview was over. I was fired because I had used a certain ‘no-no’ word in a test that was given to me at the start of the interview.

My downfall was the word nestle.

One of the interview requirements was in the form of a test. I had to write an ad for an upcoming real-estate property listing.

The word ‘nestled’ in my description was my downfall.

I did not get the job.

The agency was (wisely) looking for someone who did not write articles using time-worn words and over-worked cliches. They wanted a fresh and creative approach that would set their listings apart from the plethora of listings by other agents in the area. Many, as in MANY real-estate agents use the words ‘nestled’ and ‘stunning’ in their listings. (As proven by their use in ‘tons’ of property descriptions.) We’ll get to the word ‘ton’ shortly.

The agent who interviewed me was looking for a creative writer.

He found one.

It wasn’t me!

Here’s just some of my faves! (Can you tell? I’m trying to be “kewl’ by using the wurd ‘faves’?)

The latest fad wurd is….YAH!!! (Often Spelled YEAH)

It is so trendy and kewl to say the word ‘Yah!’ especially before you answer a question. (Or when you can’t pronounce the word Yes.)

Question: What do you think about this or that?
Answer: YAH! I think this or that is worth thinking about!

Even Maggie Haberman of CNN News is right up to date with the latest trend! Listen carefully, she says it so quickly near the start of the following video clip.

The word ‘YAH’ is really starting to get on my nerve. I would say ‘nerves’ but yah, when it come to the yah word I only have one nerve left. Okay, so I’m getting old!

REAL ESTATE WURDS

NESTLED

Things that buildings and houses do.
Many towns and cities also do it.
Especially those that are close to a riverbank.
According to a ‘ton’ of real-estate listings, that is.

STUNNING
To daze or render senseless by a blow or loud noise.
To stupefy with an emotional impact; astound.

Real Estate Agents are dangerous!
At least some of their properties are.

It’s good thing that you are forewarned when you see
the word ‘Stunning’ in their listings. It gives you time to put on your hard hat before you go to see whatever it is that is going to stun you!

PASTORAL WURDS

It seems that preachers also have some favorite ‘wurds.’

LEAN IN

Some pastors like to ‘lean in’ to the message when preaching a sermon. They often invite their congregations to join them. We do so quite happily! And give thanks that we have a solid rock on which to lean!

UNPACK

Other Pastors prefer to unpack the text or message. As in: “We’re going to unpack this scripture this morning.” I am thankful that they do exactly that!

DIG IN

Digging in also a good way preachers help us find hidden treasures in the Bible. We never know just what we might discover! Perhaps a nice shiny new shovel would be a good thank-you gift for our wonderful, enthusiastic pastors?

DIVE IN

Athletic Pastors are more inclined to ‘Dive In.’

Others prefer to simply JUMP IN.

They often invite us to join them.
We do so quite eagerly. (Usually!)

Something to Ponder:

Perhaps church meetings should be held in swimming pools?
Or sand boxes!
The kids would love it.
I would too!
(Don’t tell anyone I said that, okay!)

TEEN WURDS (Which are also used by ‘tons’ of ‘kewl’ adults!)

TON

A ton is a weight. Not a measurement.
I had a ton of fun yesterday.
I’d rather have had a lot of fun yesterday.
A lot is easier to manage than a ton!
Unless you own a bulldozer.

LIKE
Used at the start of a sentence. Part of ‘kewl’ teen talk.

As in: I’m like, impressed with all of these wurds!

GIMMIE

What I say when I want something NOW!!!

Polite people say: Give Me.

GONNA

I’m gonna go to church on Sunday.
But only if I WANNA.
Weather permitting, of course!

GUYS
What you call people whose gender you can’t determine.
Or people you haven’t met yet.
Or people whom you are hoping to entice to like you.
It’s a short word that applies to both ‘gals’ and ‘guys.’

GALS
Used instead of ‘Girls.’
Made popular in the 1942 American musical film, ‘My Gal Sal’ distributed by 20th Century Fox starring Rita Hayworth and Victor Mature. You will note, of course, that ‘Gals’ only applies to gals, whereas ‘Guys’ applies to guys AND gals.

ARR

As in: “Our.”

We took arr books back to the library today.

YRR

As in: “Your”
Opposite of Arr.

Next time you take Yrr books to the library, will you take Arrz as well? (And pay the fine?)

WRR
Wrr going shopping tomorrow.
D’ya wanna come along?

PECULYRR
Much easier to say than ‘Peculiar.’
Peculyrr’ has 3 syllables rather than four.

UMMM Or UHH! Your choice!
And we mustn’t for get: EH?
Pronounced AYYY, instead of ehhh. Go figure!

Please please please, pastors and speakers, listen to yourselves sometimes. And, uhh, I will also, um, listen to myself, as I’m gonna try to follow my own advice with olive these wurds, as well!

The upside is, I have started a new game. It’s called ‘put a quarter in a designated container to donate to charity’ every time I use these filler words. And yes I am going broke!!!

How to stop saying um, ah or you know.

AND JUST WHEN YOU HOPED I WAS FINISHED…

WEEZE

Which of course, is the opposite of ‘YOUSE’

I think I’d better go find somethin’ better to do.

Like raid the fridge!

Over and Out!

(You get to say “ROGER!”) 🙂